Fighting Self-Doubt and Embracing Writing Opportunities

A photo of Bloomsbury House home of the Faber Academy

Do you ever see a writing opportunity – be it a competition, a story submission, a course that requires an application – and think “I won’t be successful. I’m not good enough. There’ll be someone out there far more deserving than me”?

Yep, me too. There’s always that little voice knocking you down. Shame, a lack of confidence. The dreaded imposter syndrome.

I’m trying to fight it.

Sometimes I tell my friends about a competition I want to enter or a bursary I want to apply for and I explain all my reasons for not applying. Then I wait for them to present to me in the most logical, supportive way why I’m being ridiculous and should apply immediately. (Thank you Hayley for your most recent nudge.)

The thing is, submitting an application, entering a competition, it’s brave. It puts you in a vulnerable position where you might have to face disappointment and rejection, but if you do it, you might get somewhere. But not applying? That gets you nowhere.

In 2017 I saw a tweet by the Faber Academy offering an amazing opportunity. For the first time they were offering a scholarship on their six-month novel writing course for underrepresented writers who couldn’t afford the course fees. Having heard so many good things about the Faber Academy – it was my dream course – I was thrilled by the prospect of being able to apply, when previously it was out of reach. I jumped at the chance, but afterwards, I hesitated. Self-doubt kicked in. Was I good enough to apply to a course with such a high reputation? Did I deserve a fully-funded place?

After a few weeks of obsessively checking my emails, Christmas came and went and I forgot about the scholarship, until a phonecall out of the blue in early January telling me I’d won a place and that the judges had unanimously agreed that my application had granted me a place.

Did my imposter syndrome disappear? No. But my successful application helped to quieten down that persistent voice and what followed showed me that no matter my doubts, making that application, any application, is vital.

I can safely say the Faber course changed my life. Not only did my craft and confidence improve greatly, I also met an incredible bunch of likeminded writers who have become friends for life. It was one of the most fun, most rewarding experiences of my life and writing career. It gave me the confidence to apply for other support, to enter competitions. And, most importantly, it led me to finding my dream agent.

Imagine if I’d left my self-doubt win and hadn’t applied! Who knows if I’d have achieved what I have now.

And that’s why if you’re ever thinking of entering a competition or applying for an opportunity, you should go for it. Listen to those around you who know you and your work, trust their encouragement.

Of course, it’s easier said than done. I don’t have any easy solutions. Beating imposter syndrome and having the confidence to face knock-backs is a continual battle as a writer. But the more you do it, the more the successes, whatever the size, begin to lift you. Rejections still sting just as much, especially when it’s opportunities you really want, but resilience and the impetus to keep going is the greatest power a writer has.

Every success should be a celebration. A piece of your work published might give you something to shout about on Twitter. A shortlisted story might give you a reason not to give up on your dreams. Winning a mentoring opportunity, a place on a course, might improve your craft and give you your next great idea. Opportunities might open doors to new ones, you might make friends, meet agents, editors, all of who might help you on your journey.

Not to mention, it gives you something else to add to that dreaded ‘author bio’. And yes, I will mention my Bridport Prize poetry longlisting at every opportunity, thank you.

One success can open doors you weren’t even expecting, it might encourage you to seek other opportunities and perhaps edge you closer to that elusive feeling of being a ‘proper writer’. It can be difficult to find the confidence to embrace opportunities, but find that friend to give you a push, make the most of every win.

Seen a writing opportunity you want to go for? Go on. What have you got to lose?